It's taken scientists weeks of study, but they have finally published a report telling the real reason why salt water is salty. This reporter must warn you that you may not enjoy finding out the reason...Scientists first became aware of this when they were following up on tagged dolphins that were migrating south for the winter, despite being on the Australian coast. They followed the trail to the coast of Heard Island, where a terrible noise was heard over the sound of the research yacht's motor.
Once the scientists were on the deck, they could see the water foaming "... as if maddened piranha were tearing apart an elephant..." Using telescopes and binoculars, they found the water to be filled with all manner of amphibious wildlife ejaculating wildly into the water. There was no mistaking this as some sort of mating ritual, as it was exclusively male animals.
This continued for three days before the animals dispersed and the cloudy water began to clear. It's unclear what set this event off, but it is very clear now just why water is salty.
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